sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
