I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I deserve this hangover.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize