you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
they're like a gay fantastic four
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
