dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
