I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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