OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
