Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
