I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
