I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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