I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
