Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize