In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
