I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
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I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
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the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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