Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
