remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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