he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
