Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
