i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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