no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Is Oprah even human
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
God, I missed his penis.
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