just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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