So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize