I molested 6 butterflies tonight
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
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She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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