Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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