Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
