Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
did i just pee glitter
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
