bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
