And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Are my feet made of real feet?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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