i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
