You can't special order awesome
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
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Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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