My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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