We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
