Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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