The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
