Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
