That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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