so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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