with your own penis?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
