Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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