Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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