She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
not ubering you a puppy
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
