I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
