there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
