Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
You pole danced in your parka.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
