idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
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