let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
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