maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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