I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
