Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
