eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
