She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
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