Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
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Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
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All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
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