Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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