This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
the condom got lost in my hair
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize