he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
What drink are we having for lunch?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
