I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
