come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
