Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
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