the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
