it wasn't lemon gatorade
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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