dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
