My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
