Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
