Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
